gray

The naked soul

The cold breath

 The aching hands

And pounding memories

Closing my doors

Locks and chains and keys

But you stand knocking

Leave

Abandon me, O stubborn one

There is no room for you here

No warmth, nor bread

Just scarred beds

And empty vessels

Broken closed.

But He says to me, "I will pursue you. I will hunt you down and capture you. You cannot turn around. You can only walk on. You cannot hide, for darkness is as light to me."

I could see the fear take over 

Hearts hardened to the sound of closeness

It's aching and pounding all on the citizens

Leaving them wishing for a lover

And the lights on the street go dark 

But all the heaviness is in my heart

The colours on the leaves are gray

But I hold heaven in my heart today

Citizens - Avalanche City

warrior

There has been a deep, empty ache. My heart became an empty drum that I would beat with my fists in frustration. My mind became poisened with lies and sin and death.

But I am captivated by my God. I can't get over Him. I can't hold my anger over Him for long. And I am pursued by my God. The way He moves melts my heart and makes me know who I am and what it's all for.

My enemy attacked me in desperation as my Man started whispering in my ear. The war came, pushed me to the earth. I fought alongside my Warrior 'til I could no longer. I stepped back, and allowed Him, in His jealous love and unmatchable power, to overcome what I could not.

war

There is so much to say, and nothing. My heart is broken in so many places. My anger at God is cliche; its' end predictable. God said to me, what did you expect? You are in a war. But how do you fight when you are wounded? How do you stand for truth when your spirit is shot to pieces? How do you retreat, advance or surrender when you can't hear the commands of your leader?