secondhand heart

I am at the end of myself. I have no more words, no more ideas, nothing left to say or try or give. And that is terrifying. I've been running full speed to avoid the void that is forming between me and my God. But somehow He comes to me anyway, edges His words into my day, convicts me as only He can do in His wonderful ways:

"He tells you that he needs you, he's a liar
He tells you he's a hero, he's a fool
He tells you he'll stay till the Lord's breaking day
Then babe he ain't nothing but cruel." 

"Roses and Cigarettes" - Ray Lamontagne

  

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

Matthew 6:24

  

"Your mind is swollen from months of thought without release." 
"Scarlet" - Brooke Fraser

"God gives us rain when we expect sun.

Give us music when we expect trouble.

Give us tears when we expect breakfast.

Give us dreams when we expect a storm.

Give us a stray dog when we expect congratulations.

God play with us, turn us sideways and around.

Amen." 

an excerpt from "Common Prayer Collection" by Michael Leunig 

(I named this post "secondhand heart" because these words are not written by my own hand,

but they do indeed speak in and of my heart.)