circle

The whole entire world is full of crap (not literally. ew). Everyone goes on and on about complete rubbish. Politics and war and globalisation and global warming and research and nuclear power and the UN and communism and terrorism and all kinds of pointless, droning arguments and opinions. Is any of that trash gonna end hate? Cure the sick? Stop disasters?  No.

So, SHUT UP.

All that really matters is love. Do they really think governments are gonna save us? The only thing that will save us is sonnets and sex and songs and whispers in the night: "you are beautiful". In the end the only thing that will matter is "I love you" or "I think I wanna marry you" or "I can't take my eyes off you". Who are they kidding, sitting at their desks and podiums and boardrooms harping on with humongous intellectual words and egos bigger than their bank accounts, thinking earthly power means something, when I know for a fact they all cry themselves to sleep just wishing they had love of the unchangeable, undefinable, candyfloss-flavoured kind. 

Call me stupid or naive, but I says we all just throw our hands up, flop down in a big ol' circle and say "God, you were right. We can't do it without you. Your way is the only way, and we give up."

honour

"Are you still on my back after all these years?

Chasing me out of Hell and my nice fun years.

I should not have hid where my heart can't follow

This grace gets so far and too hard to swallow."

- William Fitzsimmons

"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting in you."

- Psalm 1438a

If words are all I get for now, then let's hear it.

bread

"In each of our lives Jesus comes as the bread of life—--to be eaten, to be consumed by us. This is how he loves us. Then Jesus comes in our human life as the hungry one, the other, hoping to be fed with the bread of our life, our hearts by loving, and our hands by serving. In loving and serving, we prove that we have been created in the likeness of God, for God is love and when we love we are like God."

- Mother Teresa

But I have never been so starving in my whole life. How can you say that you are all I need, how can you say that you will provide for me, and that I won't go hungry, when I feel like I've been fasting for six long years? Why must I provide for you when I am a broken, poor, starving child?

pursue

i will pursue you to your dying breath

i will find you and lavish you with love

i believe

help me with my unbelief

i would have died on that cross

if it was only for you

i am not enough

i am too much

i stand at the door knocking

i am out in the cold calling your name

"...'I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry...'"
- John 6:35a


"My love, I will keep you by my power alone. I don't care where you've fallen or where you have been, I'll never forsake you. My love never ends."

- Tenth Avenue North


"It's when you hold me that I start unfolding."
- Bethany Dillon


"...The hour has come for you to wake from your slumber... The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside these deeds of darkness and put on the armour of light."
- Romans 13:11b-12

feather

faith

like a feather

fadingfalling

into an ocean of grief


"two wrongs make it all alright tonight"
- john mayer

valley

I haven't really written on my blog for awhile. I've posted - pretty things, photos, quotes, some poems. But in general I haven't written a post because God hasn't told me too. 

Let me be being honest with you: I love this blog. So much. Maybe that's vain, maybe you're not supposed to say that, but whatever. I love my blog 'cos it's pretty and clever and it moves and changes with me. I love how it's so so so mine. I love the way it traces my lines, follows me, archives me, represents me. I like how I don't even have to have a reason for posting something, I don't have to explain my thoughts about a photo, I don't have to analyse or critique my own work. I can just be, and you can take it or leave it. I love how I don't really know if anyone reads this, and how that doesn't really matter. 

But lately, if you hadn't noticed, I have felt so stunted when I come here to write. Last year, God told me to begin this blog, a) so He could be glorified through my words, b) so He could show me how I am creative and gifted, and c) so that I could bless people with what I have been given. And so, as I've said a few times before, I can't (or shouldn't) really write anything here unless God leads me to do so. Sometimes I ignore that, and post because I am impatient and selfish (and sometimes that's okay). But I try to stay obedient  to God in this little way.

Over the past few months I have lost a lot of ground in my walk with the Lord. Those of you who do follow my blog know that I spent most of November and December in Thailand on a missions trip, and yeah, I am that kind of Christian. But the first two months of this year have been downright horrific for me, and now I am so far from God I feel like I've forgotten His very name.

I am writing this particular post because I want to remain true to myself, to God, and, I guess, to you my readers (if there are any of you). I want to be able to look back in a few years time at the journey I have taken. Therefore, I must not leave out the 'valleys' and speak only of my 'mountaintops'. So allow me this one random, insignificant, un-summarized, somewhat clumsy post simply because this blog is mine - it is me and mine and who I am. 

beat

As we dance to a beat that seems out of time to the one you feel

In the metronome of your mind,

Does it offend you that our rhythm looks strange?

Or cause your thinking to be rearranged?

Could it be that you would understand this beat to which we 

dance,

More clearly had you been given the chance?

So as you struggle to find the feel with your feet,

Ask yourself, can you dance to My Beat?

- Blaze 

wounds

"...her wounds came from the same source as her power."

- Adrienne Rich

beautiful feet

once were young

with eyes wide shut

mouthfuls of adrenaline 

once would fly and flutter about

on big, bright wings 

sure to take us places

 hope and heart and dreams enough

to flood the whole wide world

toes dipped cold

in streams of uncertainty

then danced up mountains 

with boldness and brave

streets alive with the beat 

of those beautiful feet