soak

I know He doesn't make it rain just for me, but sometimes it feels that way. Sometimes the world seems to align around me and all I can think is "He makes all things work together for my good."

Today He rained down on me. Today He soaked through my clothes and messed up my hair and made me shiver with His nearness. 

Today He thundered around me. Today He boomed in my ears, and showed the world a teaspoon of His glorious, frightening anger.

Today He sat quietly inside my chest. Today He breathed life into my deepest corners and coldest depths. 

Today I remembered my first love. Today I offered Him my hand, once again. Today I took my fickle heart, my tired heart, my doubtful heart, and I laid it back into His wholesome, holy, whole heart. For there is where I belong. There, in Him, my origins, my destination, my home.

All for blessed rain.

You see, we find Him, and we love Him, and we choose Him, but that is not the end of the story. We give Him out hearts and we receive His Spirit, but it does not finish there. Following this mysterious Man is a daily choice, sometimes a daily struggle. We lose our way, we forget His fullness and love, and the world seeps in. We stumble, we trust in ourselves, we reach high walls and try to climb them on our own. We take wrong turns, or try out short-cuts. Then we find ourselves on the side of a broken road, lost, and covered in mud. But then it pours down, and we cry out, and there He is. Warm, whole, Home. And like the Father, as the Friend He promises He'll be, He take us into Himself. He cleans us, and fills us, and sets us back upon the good path. How magnificent.

So friends, when you find yourself far from where you're supposed to be, don't despair. Waste no time tending your pride. Cry out, run down to the river, be found and cleaned. Rejoice. "Your faith has saved you!"

socks

my Jesus,

you are the socks to my cold feet

you are my time to an endless week

you are morning after the darkest night

you are my solid ground even at the greatest height.

I'm peering down a fortnight-long tunnel, and it looks cold, ugly, bleak:  assignments for miles, work work work, money-less, time-less, boyfriend-less. But because I know the Lord of lords, because I am the beloved daughter of a King, because I am the chosen bride of a heavenly Man, it shall not be joy-less, it shall not be hopeless, and I shall be far from lonely. And my life is as simple as that.

box

if life was lighter and dark was nighter

then I should know the way out.

if grace were louder and death was cruder

then I could make sense of it all.

but love is quiet, and the world is shouting

and He won't let me cover my ears.

so I sit here bewildered

unspeechless, unhindered

and make my own sweet choices.

He ushers me along, like a funny old man

a wrinkled hand upon my head.

so then life becomes subtle

and we teeter the edge

we wait for the flash of brilliance

he hushes my lips

and he quiets my heart

with a simple rush of silence.

"Maybe God doesn't need you to understand."

I pfft-ed it at first. I thought "of COURSE He wants me to understand!"

But now that I sit in my poetry-place, it seems perfectly eloquent. Perhaps God does not need us to know in detail what is going on in the spiritual world around us. Maybe God doesn't require us to fully understand what He is up to in every moment, every relationship, even situation. 

"We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions—but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all."

- 1 Corinthians 8:2-3

I have been floundering about trying to make sense of where God is leading me, why He is filling my life with this and that. In a weird desperation to pin it all down with my pen, I pressed God on and on for answers. But of course it is our faith and love, rather than our comprehension or knowledge that most pleases Him. He is a lamp to our feet, not our entire path. He shows us the next step, not the next mile.

So, let us step out in faith - even when that step appears to takes us out onto some rickety roof or risky ledge. Let us tread lightly, be open to His rebuke, and nimble to follow after our mysterious God. Let us not box Him, let us not grill Him. Let us wait in eager faith for His guidance and commands. But, may we not stand still in timid hesitance. Let our High Priest make us bold as we approach His throne, for we walk in freedom of the freest kind. Let us remember that He is God over all: over all that we cannot know, all that we cannot see, all that we will never understand. Wholly, and only, let us trust in Him.

ravished

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up: do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

- Isaiah 43:18-19

bloom

a new season unfurls its wings

springs into life, childlike.

the fragrance of bloom offerings

linger on my fingers

seep into my deep.

humble, vagabond beauty 

sighs through trees

whispers in winds

i sink into fresh depths; gaspingly new.

o how i've waited.

"Come, let your wind blow, Spirit of God. Come, let your river flow as we wash our hearts in your love. Come, let the sun rise on this humble heart. Come, let the heat of love burn the furnace of my soul. For you, you make all things new. I'm alive in your love, I'm alive in you. And I, I let go of my pain. When it stands next to your love all it can do it fade away."

- Great Awakening

We ran for the train, but not because we were late. We just love the thrill of the chase.

"Broke my heart with your love, God I will love you the same."
- United Pursuit Band

loveriver

rip the fabric of my heart

let the banks of my loveriver break

claw down these walls

weaken my strongholds

cripple my control

let love grow

flow forth freely

rushing torrent

melt all fear, crumble all caution.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

- Isaiah 41:13

You take my hand and lead me through acres of beauty. I can do nothing but follow. Your passion disarms me, your love ruins me, your heart destroys my tall towers. I am wrecked by grace, ravished by your gaze. I am perfectly, wonderfully helpless. I am choice-less, but I still choose you.

"Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love."

- Song of Solomon 2:5

"You are everything you've promised, your faithfulness is true. We're desperate for your presence. All we need is you."

- Christy Nockels

"I'm blessed, I'm broken, I'm honoured inside to be called your wife."

- Sleeping Giant