makeshift testimony

So I feel that annoying need to summarize and reflect upon my trip as it draws to a close. Last year we had to give so many testimonies of what we'd done and how God had worked in and through us. But I don't get to do that this year :( So lucky for my trusty blog, huh!

Here is what I have learnt:
I am loved loved loved by God. Adored. Completely. 

God is here Thailand and He is working.

I love Melbourne!

I love to take photos (yeah, you're right, I learned that before, but it's like a constant revelation. Like, once, I accidentally left my camera at my room and I went crazy with all the things I wanted to take photos of but couldn't).

In the next few years, I need to place a huge focus on getting to know God, and on falling deeply in love with Him.

No matter what you order in Thailand, it will probably have either egg or peanuts, and if you are a slow learner and/or forgetful and are allergic to one or both of these things you will have to reorder your food and pay double for almost every meal.

I am abundantly blessed so that I may be a blessing to others.

When things are bad in your soul, praying actually helps.

Meeting new people is not so scary and that I am not a complete social-retard.

It is often the things you least anticipate that delight you the most.

God is funny. Seriously, like, He can make a joke. And He laughs at me sometimes. And He finds my weirdness and quirks endearing.

 For sure this trip has not been what I expected. I thought I knew Thailand. I thought I understood the people, and the culture. I thought I understood God and why He had me come here. But I was very wrong. Thai people continue to surprise me everyday. You hear a lot about Thailand being the "land of smiles" and how they are all meek and lovely people who never get angry or confrontational in public. And though that is mostly true, Thai people are not as black and white as that. They can be rude, and frustrating. They can be loud and oblivious. They can get grumpy and stubborn. But they can also be heart-meltingly sweet. I came with a starry-eyed love of this country because I knew God had called me here and I knew I should love them unconditionally. God has shown me that loving these people doesn't require them to be perfect, just like back home. He loves them despite their overwhelming amount of sin. And so I must learn to love them in and amongst the ways they hurt or offend me too.

Without a doubt God sent me here for this six-week mission to prepare me and call me to my long-term assignment. Everything He has said and done has been for that purpose. I think a huge reason I didn't enjoy the first half of my trip was because I was trying to force it to be what God hadn't intended it for. I was trying to make God use me for the purposes I had in mind, and I felt guilty that I wasn't living up to my own expectations of myself. He told me quite early on that I wasn't gonna see a soul come to Christ this time around, that it just don't work like that round here. But I was desperate to not have excuses, to not use anything as a cop-out for not serving Him, and so, in ignoring God, I ended up in a spiral of shame and guilt and frustration. Thankfully He is a good, patient and forgiving God. 

He has revealed to me a huge amount of my future, and that confuses and startles me. He could have waited until the end of my degree before He told me how I was to serve Him here, and in fact, I was expecting Him to do it like that. But He let me in on His plans, and I'm curious why? For sure it will give me a great sense of purpose while I am studying, and it has helped me to see my blessings for what they are. But there must be more to it...

So this is not the end. I like how my assignments all seem to blend into one. As we concluded our trip last year, I felt my calling to Thailand. And now, as I conclude this trip, I feel my next one rising. I think God knows how much energy it gives me to have something to aim for, to look toward, and how it draws me closer to Him.

So there you go. One girl, one country, 45 days, 4 towns, 60 million people, a whole lot of lostness and one great God. And that's my testimony.