charming chiang mai

Chiang Mai has this cute way of charming me just when I am about to give up on it. When I'm at the end of my rope about bugs and heat and funky smells and footpaths that intentionally trip me up every 8-10 seconds, Chiang Mai will waltz on in with a plate of something that can only be described as pure bliss. Or out will pop an enchanting square completely lit up with all kinds of delightful bobbles and hanging do-das. Or I'll (literally) stumble upon a quaint restaurant, hiding down a soi (lane), playing peculiar tunes that woo me into thinking how exotic I am to be enjoying spicy food in humid evening air.

The past couple days have been full of completely surreal moments. And when I say Chiang Mai has been charming me, I know it's really God who is.

Last night after dinner I went walking and, God knows how, ended up at Thapae Gate (I've changed hostels, so lost my bearings of the city a little), where a concert called "Bless Thailand (Chiang Mai)" was happening. The entire area, which is huge, was filled with plastic red chairs, and a massive stage had been set up. Everything was in Thai so I had no idea what the whole shindig was about. Until. They start singing "How Great is Our God." Again, I found myself in one of those moments where I knew God had led me to the exact place I was in. The whole night was a praise and worship session in the middle of the city centre (Melbournians: think Federation Square, Aucklanders: think Aotea Square). The area packed full, and I, a Christian of 5 years, witnessed the most passionate, the most joyful worship I have ever seen. 

In Thailand. I cried. 

I have been so overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness. And then God says, "I am here, Sinead. I've been here, and I'm staying here, and I love these people." I sat for hours and watched a thousand Thai people praise my God with all their hearts, in their own language, feeling more found and at home than I have in a long time. 

Just as I stood to leave, some guy started speaking in English for all the foreign missionaries to stand. I was already standing. God was giving me my identity. "You are my worker. You shall reap the harvest of this crop." It was profound. I was standing for my purpose. 

After they prayed for the missionaries (there was a couple dozen of them there), I felt God prompting me to go and talk to one of them. You guys know I'm shy and awkward, but God has again been speaking to me about surrendering my shyness to Him. So I went and spoke to an older lady about her work in Thailand. She's been here serving God since the year I was born. 19 years. She encouraged me greatly and gave me her contact.

On the street outside Thapae Gate, I saw the homeless lady I told you about. I have been to see her a few times and I like to think we've become the best of friends (though neither of us understand a word the other is saying :)). When she saw me, she got up and started looking through her bag (I'm still not convinced she's completely sane.) And guess what she pulls out this time? A Bible. But not just any Bible. A Thai and English Bible. And gives it to me. And says it's from her "mama". 

God keeps bringing me to a point where I am speechless. I don't even know what to say to her. She's homeless, for goodness sake, and she's handing me the most valuable possession anyone can have. I try to give her food sometimes, and she won't let me, as though I'm giving too much. But she gladly and abundantly blesses me without hesitation. I don't think she will ever know how much that gesture means to me.

So there you go. How is that for a night of confirmation and commissioning. I can't seem to run from my calling to Thailand. I doubt it everyday. I'm still entirely confused about "why me cos I suck so much". But God is ridiculously insistent. And I know, I know, God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called, or one of the many similar quotes, blah blah. But still, when I think about the full-time missionaries I know, they are flipping warriors for Christ. And what am I? I am a girl. I am little. I am from New Zealand. New Zealanders are warriors at sport.

I have a million other stories to tell you, but I think that's enough for now.

These are the things God has been speaking to me about lately;

surrendering

sacrifice

love

healing

constant prayer

worship

delight

Here are some important verses for me at the moment. (You can look them up if you're bored and/or need some inspiration);

-John 12: 24-26

- Job 22:21 (NLT)

- Hosea 6:6 (MSG)

- Matthew 22:37-3

- John 5:3-6

- 1 Peter 2:11 (MSG)

And here are some songs that mean a lot to me right now;

"How He Loves" - David Crowder Band 

("I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.")

"Time" - Tenth Avenue North

("My love is over, it's underneath, it's inside, it's in between.")

"Far Far" - Yael Naim

("There's a beautiful mess inside." - Thanks to whoever commented that song on my post <3)

And some dancing phontons for your eyes;