alien

I am alone. I am apart from.

I am angry for the burden that has been placed on me.

I am hurt by who I am.

I try to throw off my duty. 

I try to run, once again, from a calling I cannot escape.

I defy and deny the One who has given me everything.

I turn my back, and shuffle awkwardly into the world.

But it never works. I am never at home. No matter where I am.

I am an alien. 

I am different.

I am too big or too small.

I am too much or not enough.

I cannot find truth or beauty or peace or joy.

My heart aches and turns violently within me.

This is not what I want.

I'll go stand in the middle of an ocean.

And hope I am lost and never to be found.

May I sink and be buried.

Let Him find me if He wants.